I got a few good days of swaddling in before Gio decided he hated it.

Grunts & frustrated cries accompanied a bright red color that appeared in his little face every time he struggled to escape the very thing that’s supposed to be making him feel safe & secure. Come on, swaddle.. you’re not doing a very good job here!!

So what did I do? I stopped swaddling him. & surprisingly he slept just fine, he just woke up a lot to eat. Little tummies require frequent feedings, & I didn’t realize he was falling asleep before he filled his belly. Rookie mistake. But I’m telling you once this kid was out, he was o-u-t. There was no waking him up to eat more. So I just sucked it up, knowing that waking up frequently wouldn’t last forever.
He eventually started sleeping 5-6 hours at a time at night! *does dance* Can I get a Hallelujah?! I saw a sleep pattern emerge & we had somewhat of a loose daily routine. It was amazing!

—Then all of a sudden—

Giovanni started waking up at all hours of the night.
Getting him to sleep was easy… it was keeping him asleep that was hard. As soon as he touched his mattress, his eyes would open. What!? When did this start!?! & if I was lucky enough to put him down without waking him up (in which case hubby & I would silently cheer & pump our fists) I would consider myself even luckier if he slept for more than 30 minutes. It was really a celebration when we got an hour or *gasp* two straight hrs of sleep! Most nights that was not the case.

I did my due diligence & followed the 90 minute sleep program during the day which worked like a charm (thanks for the book, Jen!) but he still woke frequently at night. I started swaddling him, but I had to be sneaky & wait until he fell asleep first. The Woombie actually made this a pretty easy process.

But it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t stay asleep, he was just as frustrated as I was! Have you ever been so exhausted but your body just won’t let you sleep? It’s not fun. I had people say they felt so bad for me & to just let him cry. Everyone has different opinions on this subject… there’s no right or wrong way. But for me, I wanted to be there with him. To make him feel better, to hold him & let him know that I would be there for him no matter what.

I have the most precious gift that I could have ever asked for, so I am grateful for every night… even the sleepless ones. Someday I’m going to miss that innocent cry, the helpless little boy that needs me to make it all better. I’m going to miss nursing him as he drifts off to sleep so peacefully in my arms, & watching him crack a smile every so often before I lay him in his own bed. He is my purpose now, & I’ve waited my whole life for the opportunity to become a mother.

Today I’m celebrating a small victory. After almost 8 weeks of an erratic (lack of) sleep pattern, Gio slept for 4 hrs straight. Which means I slept for 4 hrs straight. Which means when I woke up at 1:09 am staring at the timer on my phone in disbelief, I felt like I could run a marathon. I couldn’t sleep for the next hour & I didn’t even care. He did it! He followed that with 2 more hrs. Then 1. Then 2, then 1. Does this mean our sleep problems are solved now? No… We’ll have more ups & downs but hopefully this is a sign of things to come.

So for any moms that need encouragement, anyone who feels like a prisoner to their child’s (lack of) sleep patterns, hang in there! It won’t last forever, & you’ll eventually miss your little one being so dependent on you. Know that I’m over here cheering you on! You can do this!! Don’t forget what a gift motherhood is & be thankful for all the moments. Even the not-so-fun ones (;