So last night I had a tiny meltdown (& by tiny I mean not tiny). Like.. a “lying face-down on the living room floor & crying it out for a while” type of meltdown. Lol. If we would’ve had any chocolate in the house I promise you it would definitely be gone. I had a “bottle up & explode” 20 minutes moment, which I tend to do every now & then (because, you know… I’m an adult & everything, haha) when I feel extremely overwhelmed.
It all started because I was struggling to edit my blog & things just weren’t going right so I became frustrated & started thinking, “Why am I even doing this? Who even cares?” etc. etc. etc. Which led me to think about all the things I haven’t achieved yet, my goals I haven’t completed yet & all kinds of negative thoughts. I’m so lucky to have a husband who knows how to make me feel better… hugs, words of affirmation & a nice little tub of warm water to soak my feet in front of the TV (: It’s usually at this point that he would have to pry the computer from my hands & force me to relax, but this time I didn’t need the encouragement. I didn’t have the mental capacity to carry on, haha.
Since I’ve become a mom, it seems like I’ve been putting more pressure on myself to be perfect. I’m already a perfectionist by nature & my OCD tendencies come out even more when I’m stressed. I’ve learned that I am happiest when things in my life are well-balanced… Being “too much” of anything just kind of throws me off. So that’s something I’m working on (& usually struggle with) daily. But I’m pretty sure I can’t be the only mom –or woman, for that matter– who gets carried away with such high expectations for themselves… & I don’t think I’m the only one who’s ever had a breakdown, am I right? Haha. It really makes me wonder why, oh WHY do we do this to ourselves?
I started thinking about this recent blog post I wrote:
& I don’t know why I couldn’t think of that while I was having my meltdown, haha. Everyone is weak at times & I know it’s ok to cry if I need to… I’m convinced that it’s even healthy to do so! But I also know that I need to just take a step back & realize I’m doing my best. If you find yourself in this situation take a deep breath & most importantly- don’t start comparing yourself to anyone else!! Don’t take this the wrong way, but there is always going to be someone smarter than you, someone “more creative,” someone “more successful,” someone who appears “more together” than you etc. But there’s only one you, so you do YOU, boo! Everyone has their own strengths, so just focus on yours. If no one has told you today that you’re special or that you’re doing a great job, I’m telling you that right now (: I know you’re doing your best. So keep calm & mommy on. Love you guys! Xo